Sorry... (2022 update)

There is so much wrong with this sportswashing world cup and its staging on a heap of corpses that we are awarding equal first place to FIFA and the government of Qatar in advance, as no mere players could ever hope to achieve that level of twattery. And because we really don't want to have to watch much if any of it. Maybe the 2024 Euros will be better, if the continent hasn't collapsed into famine and civil unrest by then.

What is Twatball?

Twatball is a fantasy league game for the football Euros, turned on its head.

Select your dream XI of thugs, cheats and hapless bunglers, then sit back and watch them rack up points for red and yellow cards, own goals, blatant dives and missed penalties.

Twatball is completely free and you can set up your own custom leagues to compete against your friends, family and work colleagues.

To keep touch with what's happening, you might want to sign up for our twitter feed. We have a Facebook page as well, although as we're not spending any money on it it will probably never show up on your timeline even if you Like it.

Want to chat about twatball, the Euros or any other old rubbish? Come and join us on 40 percent, the Pitcairn Island of the internet.

He's not on a yellow card yet HE IS NOW