the small print

The Fantasy Twatball concept was imagined up by Matt Craven, who is a bona fide genius and also responsible for the artwork (including the almost legendary and widely bootlegged Cristiano-Ronaldo-falling-over animated GIF). Roger Hughes is trying to set it up in a modern webby sort of fashion using any free tools that happen to be available. They hereby assert all moral and immoral rights that they can reasonably lay claim to, which expressly includes Matt's rights of reproduction of his pictures.

The Euro 2016 event, brand, concept, design, logos, marks, and all other intellectual property rights of a like kind are almost certainly the exclusive property of of the Union Européenne de Football Association or their partners, sponsors, associates, Member Associations, assignees, heirs and successors, ginger-headed stepchildren, minders, or other scary mates, with whom this site has no association whatsoever. You will not need a Visa™ card to enter Fantasy Twatball, nor yet will you be required to lend us the cost of admission (including a non-returnable administration fee) for a few months until we decide whether we're going to let you in or not (except seth). The appearance of any trade mark on this site is not intended to imply official or unofficial endorsement by its holders of us or by us of them of any nature whatsoever.

The appearance of any person's name on this site shall not be presumed to imply that they are in any way a twat. Not least the players, because not only is the scoring based on simple objectively verifiable criteria which may be the result of misfortune, refereeing errors, force majeure, bribery and corruption, misuse of Photoshop, or malice aforethought or otherwise, rather than actual twattiness, but also because they mostly have enough money to afford much better lawyers than we can.

The limited personal details that we store (some name you probably made up anyway and an gmail address and maybe an IP address or two to weed out people being excessively silly) will not under any circumstances (short of a court order) be passed on to third parties. And even if you are enough of a twat to use the same password that you use for your online banking, it's only stored in an encrypted form that we won't be able to read unless we at the very least go and learn some stuff about cryptography that frankly seems more effort than we can be bothered to go to. We may send one or two announcements concerning the game to the email address you sign up with, which is why we were asking for it. The site uses cookies but only for the purposes of session management (ie keeping you logged in from one page to the next). If you log in via Facebook, if I get round to getting that sorted, then normal Facebook app conditions apply (i.e. you have effectively foresworn any entitlement to privacy whatsoever).

All disputes pertaining to this competition and site shall be governed by the laws of England and Wales, at least until we can get a legitimate address in the Cayman Islands or somewhere like that. The site is hosted by Hughes Communications Ltd, your interlingual textual communications solutions provider, who are otherwise wholly irresponsible for its content.